In 1972, I moved from Southern California to the San Francisco East Bay town of Lafayette. I was beginning a new phase of my life as Director of a Catholic retreat and spiritual growth center. About that same time, I discovered Transactional Analysis (”I’m OK, You’re Ok”). It made a great deal of sense and helped me understand my life and how I got to be the (often confused) person I was.

Also located in Lafayette was one of the founders, or at least, chief proponents of TA, Muriel James. She was a world-renowned therapist and author of the international bestseller, Born to Win (over 4 million copies sold). She was also ordained minister (a fact I learned only later in my life). I attended some of her workshops and found her to be one of the wisest persons I had ever met. At our center, we often drew on principles of TA, which integrated well with Catholic Christian spirituality. I resigned my position at the retreat center in 1979 and lost touch with Muriel.

Fast-forward 17 years to 1996. By this time I was writing professionally and had published three nonfiction books, with another–my first novel–on the way. Feeling the need to associate with other local authors, I joined the Mt. Diablo Branch of the California Writers Club. Among the many personal and professional contacts I made, one was a particularly great surprise and joy. Muriel James was also a member! This second phase of our  relationship gave us an opportunity to get to know each other as friends and colleagues. I saw another side of her–a writer of great energy and enthusiasm. For the 13 years of our renewed friendship, she has always been working on four or five books at the same time. I could only handle my manuscripts sequentially. Well into her ____ties, Muriel is still an occasional participant at Writers Club luncheons.

I would love Muriel no matter what, for her humility, kindness and loving spirit, but it doesn’t hurt that she loves everything I have published, fiction or nonfiction. Muriel James–mentor and model to me in so many ways. And it all began with Born to Win.

I’ve attached to this post a YouTube segment from the stage production. In it the bishop tells Valjean that, like it or not, “I have purchased your soul and given it to God.” The price? Six heirloom silver plates and two silver candlesticks. The bishop did not ask Jean Valjean if his soul was for sale. With some holy sleight of hand, he purchased the rights and transferred the deed at once in perpetuity to the Lord. Jean Valjean stood agape, an uncooperative bystander at the sale of his immortal soul, his life here on earth and hereafter.

This catalytic event sets the entire novel in motion. Composer and dramatist Boublil and Schonberg captured all the tenderness and mystery of this scene. I invite you to watch and listen as the bishop exchanges a family treasure for Jean Valjean’s soul. Phantom Promise

“Because of the urge to understand, we search for knowledge; yet knowledge is not the same as understanding or wisdom. We know the price in lives that war exacts, and we understand that war is a poor way to settle disputes; yet we do not have the wisdom to avoid such conflicts . . . . Wisdom is based on understanding life and how to live in harmony and balance with it. Wisdom is the ability to separate the important from the unimportant . . . and to move toward that which is most worthwhile.”—Muriel James and John James, Passion for Life: Psychology and the Human Spirit

Too often we go to famous authors and poets for quotes about the meaning of life. I’m looking for the wisdom of ordinary people, living ordinary lives to the best of their ability. The following is an example that a lovely woman in South America left on my Facebook wall:

“What I learned about life is that what you give to others is what makes your life special, that the love you feel deep inside is what really fulfills you, and God IS Love, and to have friends is to have a great treasure.”–Ana Antunes

Through this project, maybe we can bring some everyday sanity to our very confused and out-of-kilter world.